Your little one has just arrived in the world, brand spanking new! When friends and family start asking…. Sooooo when are you guys going to have another one?
Oh boy like you haven’t been through enough already! When is the right time? Can anyone tell you?
The gynae will recommend a minimum of 6 months after birth before trying again. Is this enough time- emotionally and physically? (You have happily just squeeeezed back into those skinny jeans again) and then before you know it, it’s goodbye old friend till next year again. As amazing it is to be pregnant and feel your baby grow inside of your tummy, it is also lovely to have your body back as your own again- and to have that glass of wine if you feel like it.
And society suggests a two year age gap- so you are in the swing if nappies, bottles and sleepless nights. As well as you kiddies being interested in similar shows, games and hopefully play together.
Emotionally having a baby takes the biggest toll on Mommy- never mind just the pregnancy hormones but that overwhelming love and need to put the well being of your baby first. The constant worrying-is my baby growing like he/she should, am I making enough milk, is this pooh nappy normal, should I be stimulating her/him more? And then the trying- to be a good mom, wife, and employee… Where is the space in your brain for more worrying, trying, love, ect ect?
There is also the guilt of sharing your precious time with a second. Your first born had all of you, completely to themselves. And now your second or third child won’t get that privilege…but they will have the advantages of growing up with a sibling, that instant friend and companion, protector and teacher. How very special is that!!
The biggest question to ask is – is our relationship/marriage ready for another baby? As strong as your relationship/marriage was before your baby, assured it now has ‘character’. Sleepless nights, a crying baby, smelling like vomit, and being poohed on doesn’t always enhance the romance of a relationship. But those incredible moments (daily!) when you look at your tiny human- YOURS that you made together and that makes your bond so very strong!
Mostly I think it’s up to mommy- when you have that warm fuzzy broodiness that takes over when you hold a friends tiny little bundle of joy, then your well on your way to getting ready for baby number two. I also think we are programmed to forget the harder stuff- no wine, growing waistlines, pain of childbirth, sleepless nights, being on call 24/7….. Because before you know it, you’ll be looking down at that pregnancy test, seeing those familiar two blue lines and jumping in pure excitement for ALL of these above mentioned things to come! That beautiful growing belly, the day you get to meet your new tiny human, watching that little baby grow and change everyday!
And once again your friends and family will ask….. Soooo when will you guys be having another one?!?!